Message for absent fathers

Four men who are all in the radio business have launched a campaign in Nelson Mandela Bay to create awareness around the impact of absent fathers in communities. The friends, who are fathers, banded together and launched their campaign #Blackfathersstandupza earlier this month at the Tramways Building.

There, they received donations from the public that are to be handed over to mothers at Dora Nginza Hospital.

Bantu Mtshiselwa, of Kwazakhele, who is now studying in Germany and has a six-month-old son, said comparing the two countries had opened his eyes to the differences in what it means to be a father.

“I was raised by strong women who made me the man I am today because I grew up without a father present in my life,” he said.

“So I know what it feels like to not have a father figure apart from my uncles.” Mtshiselwa is a former radio DJ at BayFM. “I became a father to a beautiful, happy and friendly baby boy who made me reflect on my own relationship that I never had with my father as a young boy and that is when I made a vow to be there for my son, always,” he said.

“Our aim is to bring focus to the fact that black present fathers do exist too.”

The campaign intends to inspire absent fathers to take responsibility for their children, to be part of their lives and uplift their community.

As a collective, they feel the responsibility of raising children should not be solely that of the mother.

Luvuyo Nyembezi, of Richmond Hill, who is a production engineer at AlgoaFM, said the campaign was a call to ensure that communities were equipped with caring black men.
“We want to spark and ignite conversations among men,” Nyembezi said.

“We need to call each other out because we cannot continue having men who drive nice cars and wear nice clothes, yet are not making any contribution towards their children.

“If we are to rebuild our communities we need present, active fathers and the kids in our communities need role models – we need to be those role models.

“The pressure and responsibility of raising a child cannot be placed on the mother while the father is out there living his life.

“We need responsible black men,” the father of a 10-month-old son said.

According to their research, the men claim almost half of all South African children grow up without their fathers – although the men are alive. Black children are the most affected by this unhealthy trend, at 51%.

“This issue is often reinforced by men’s failure to exercise the values of responsibility, selflessness, integrity and love with regard to their children,” Mtshiselwa said.

“Given that these and other social problems correlate more strongly with father absence than with any other factor – surpassing race, social class and poverty – father absence may well be the most critical social issue of our time.”

The other two fathers are BayFM DJ Sebenzile Zalabe and Sizwe Saliso, a DJ at Umhlobo Wenene FM.