Fathers are not merely financial providers – they are essential in developing self-confidence in their children.
This was said by clinical psychologist Dr Estelle de Wit on Sunday at an imbizo hosted by #BlackFathersStandUpZA at the Tramways Building.
De Wit was on a panel with family lawyer Joanne AnthonyGooden, poet Lelethu “Poetic Soul” Mahambehlala and comedian Tsepiso Nzayo.
At the meeting, dozens of Port Elizabeth fathers vowed to “step up” in the lives of their children.
De Wit stressed the importance of a “present” father from an early age, saying children needed this figurehead for developing confidence.
“If you look at the psychological development of a child with a father and one [without], you will see a huge difference. The father is needed from the word go.
“But a very important phase of development is at about [the age of] two when a child starts to learn skills like riding a bike.
“The dad is essential to build[ing] self-confidence.”
“For girls in particular it is important to know their father values them. They need to know he can protect them whenever there is danger.”
De Wit cautioned against fathers who merely provide money.
“[A dad is] supposed to be [a] provider, but that’s not [his] only role – [it] is to protect, guard and guide.”
Anthony-Gooden spoke on the legal aspect and rights fathers have.
She stressed the importance of DNA testing as soon as possible to avoid paying maintenance for a child that could be someone else’s.
“I have seen [that] someone has paid maintenance for a child that is not [his].
“It is better to get the test done – you know if you are supposed to be supporting this child.”
Mahambehlala spoke about certain Xhosa customs that could prevent a father from seeing his child more often.
“The Xhosa culture can cause a father not to be involved in the life of the child because a child born out of wedlock belongs to the parents of the mother.
“Then there are the costs of impregnating a girl out of wedlock, as well as other costs.
“Sometimes the father cannot afford all these things and the girl’s family can withhold the [father’s right to be] present in the life of the child.”