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The WhatsApp came at 10.06am on a Tuesday: “Shop at Moffett on Main has Chinese cabbage. [Person whose identity is being withheld due to the almost clandestine nature of the operation] just messaged me now to tell me they just received now.”

Later that day, another message at 12.42pm, this time from Vicky Kimchi (as saved on my phone): “I got CABBAGE!!!” followed by the party face emoji — the smiley face with party hat and party horn...

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