In a certain pop song by a certain Bruno Mars, the singer confesses that he’s so in love with his paramour that he would “catch a grenade” for her.

It’s a fairly big claim, but just in case she’s not swept off her feet (by the shock wave and little bits of his flesh), he doubles down: to prove how badly he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, he would, he croons, stand in front of a train and even take a bullet “straight through the brain”. ..