Romance killer in your hands
They are smart, they are addictive but they can also ruin your love life, a new study has revealed
A NEW study has demonstrated that smartphones are ruining romance.
Which will come as a blow to those of us who still think devil-horned emoticons are a bit racy.
It seems couples are so in love with technology they are texting rather than talking, browsing rather than arousing, and are far too preoccupied with finding the 4G spot to give much attention to the analogue real thing.
According to the survey, 40% of us have put off having sex to send a quick text, surf the internet or check our Facebook page.
Cast your mind back a full five years ago to the good old days. Back then, a girl would get all dressed up in heels and a body-con frock for dinner with her suitor or, if he was out of town, her husband. Once the gin and tonic kicked in, said girl would coyly whisper that she needed to go to The Ladies.
This, of course, was a lie. Firstly, because she just spent the previous two and a half hours in the bathroom getting ready. Secondly, because “I’ll be back in a minute” is established code for “I am going to walk away very slowly and sexily so you can admire me from behind.
“And then in a few moments, I am going to walk towards you very slowly and sexily, so you can admire me from the front as well. And I’m doing this now before I eat that warm bread roll the waiter just served with tongs because my tummy swells when I eat wheat.”
Job done. But the old ways no longer work in high-tech 2015.
A man no longer automatically gazes in wonder and carnal interest at his inamorata’s hip-swaying sashay.
No, he’s got something much more interesting to play with. Thus the split second his girlfriend stands up, he immediately looks at his phone. And when she returns, he’s still looking. In fact, he might not even notice she’s sat opposite again for several moments.
So she is in a mood. He has no idea why. Conversation dries up. Huffily, she answers a text. He takes advantage of what he takes to be a companionable silence and looks up the F1 standings. She is enraged.
He is bewildered, and retreats to the modern version of his man-cave and, while the main course is taken away, buys a new drill bit on his Amazon app. She Instagrams her best mates to tell them that it is all over. His mobile runs out of battery, so he wants to talk. Hers has not, so she does not.
It is a comedy of 404 Errors, but it is not that funny. Before you know it, they have stomped off home and retreated to opposite sides of the bed. He is light years away on his Samsung Galaxy. She is burning with indignation on her Kindle Fire, and the window for intimacy has truly timed out.
So what can one do about this peculiar competition between the attractions of the real and the seductions of the virtual?
Social networking has transformed our world. It empowers the many, helps us stay informed and connected.
We can Facetime and Snapchat those who are far away – but sometimes at the expense of those who are nearest and dearest.
It is not uncommon to see entire families, whole railway carriages, doctors’ waiting rooms filled with silent people transfixed by the tiny screen on their laps, their mouths slack, their expressions slightly zombified. Technology’s blessings multiply with each new application, but the curses cannot be overlooked entirely.
The online world is addictive with its infinite possibility, endless entertainment. Yet for all the instant messaging and Twitter followers, there’s a dehumanising dimension, too. Our dealings with one another are becoming remote, measured, at arm’s length.
We must beware of losing more than we gain. “Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? “Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?” So wrote TS Eliot in 1934, but his words ring truer than ever. We must remember that however smart a phone, it has no emotional intelligence. And, in here-and-now reality, a winking emoji comes a poor second to a tender goodnight kiss – or a lustful look across a crowded restaurant.
– The Telegraph
