Honourable readers, I too fear f*k*l. If you grew up on the Cape Flats, you learn early on how to dodge gangsters, avoid dangerous areas, walk sideways with a swinging arm and, most of all, project strength. The slightest hint of fear on your face and you’re toast. So, like my president, nothing scares me. Until two weeks ago.

There, on Twitter, was a video of a young man dragging and running off with the traffic lights. I lie to you not. That long, heavy yellow traffic light pole with the light fixtures on the end. He was huffing and puffing as he ran, coming up for air at regular intervals as he stopped to regain his energy. Then he took off again along the pavement of a busy road as someone’s camera tracked the robot thief. “Steal till there’s nothing more to steal” reads one of the captions commenting on this startling event on Twitter...