In the centre of Pietermaritzburg there stands a miracle of physics and philosophy: Schrödinger’s Podium, an object that raises the praise singers of Jacob Zuma high above the street and yet simultaneously allows them to prostrate themselves as low as any self-respecting South African can grovel.

The courtiers trotting up and down its steps, however, don’t seem to understand its phenomenal qualities. Instead, they are using those reality-bending boards simply as a makeshift stage on which to perform their wretched little morality play: “Msholozi (Long May He Cause The Rains To Come) Is The Victim Of A Plot”...