The universe is very big and what we know is very small. Which is why I don’t want to rule out the possibility that Limpopo pastor Christ Penelope is, in fact, pleasing the God of Love by squatting on the faces of his congregation and letting them inhale his flatulence.

Granted, it’s unlikely, but then I don’t even know how electricity works, so who am I to pass judgment on those who pass gas in service of the great unknowable processes of this world and the next? It’s even possible that Penelope’s mighty wind didn’t even happen, and that last week’s pictures, crouched over the faces of the faithful, were taken out of context...