LETTER | No mention of death horror
I attended Kelly Bain’s funeral on Tuesday.
There were hundreds of people in the church.
The five-year-old was sitting only a few metres from her mother’s coffin.
A one-month-old baby in her grandmother’s arms was oblivious of the tragedy that has engulfed her, the brutal removal of the most important person in their lives.
Where is the word that describes this outrage?
What happened to Kelly is the utmost tragedy.
A young mother experiencing the terror and horror of fighting off a knife-wielding criminal thug, trying to protect herself and her child to the last minute of her life.
Then being stabbed to death, in the supposed sanctity of her own home on a sunny morning.
Chris Bonus walking in and also being confronted by this murderous thug and finding Kelly dead in a pool of blood.
Can horror get any worse than this?
To die in terror, knowing you have lost the fight?
The funeral service did not mention any of this.
Instead the service celebrated Kelly’s life with a preacher slinging a guitar over his shoulder with percussion drums and an electric guitar accompanying him!
There was a dirty and very sloppily dressed man in the front taking close-up photographs of the mourners with a telephoto lens. Where is the respect? Where is the dignity? Where is the appreciation of the gravity of what had happened?
It was only my respect for the grieving family that held me back from banging the camera over his head and throwing him into the street.
We were told that Kelly was now in heaven in great joy.
Kelly is in great joy watching her baby and daughter from heaven?
She is in joy watching her children in this vicious and brutal country without a mother?
We were told how great and merciful God was. Really?
Where was he when the knife was plunged into Kelly’s neck, viciously ending her life?
We were told to forgive and not to build higher fences. Really?
It did not take long for my grief to turn to anger and my tears dried up.
I am also not into armwaving at funerals.
The tragedy, the senselessness, the mindlessness, the horror and the brutality of it all was not mentioned.
We were told about God allowing Jesus to be nailed to the cross because he loved him.
What are we supposed to do with that information?
Have you ever heard so much mindless twaddle?
Kelly did not die of a prolonged illness.
Kelly did not die of old age. She did not die in her sleep. Kelly had her life gruesomely and savagely ripped away from her.
Kelly was murdered! The service should have reflected this.
This is not a time for joyful singing. This is a time for lamenting that we live in this God-forsaken land.
This was the worst funeral service I have ever experienced.
Kelly deserved better.
- A grieving friend, Port Elizabeth