Bereaved mom became mother to the grieving

When Kathleen Wessels’ daughter died in a bus crash and she was called to identify her body at the morgue, she looked up at the devastated parents around her and decided to put her own anguish aside to be their pillar of strength.

“We share a common pain, and from the moment we saw our children’s bodies through the glass at the police station, I knew that I needed to be strong for everyone else,” Wessels said last week.

As she recalled the harrowing details of August 24 2011, Wessels pointed to the site of the crash in Rheenendal, where her 11-year-old daughter, Rayleen, had died. 

She had moved out of the area shortly afterwards with her son, Raymando, who was just nine years old when he was lucky enough to survive the horror crash that claimed his older sister’s life.

Raymando, like so many others, could never quite recover from the trauma and ended up dropping out of school. 

He is now 19.

“When I left [Rheenendal] I just wanted to close that chapter in its entirety,” Wessels said. 

Though unemployed, Wessels, 53, has become a mother figure to the women who lost children, though many of them are much older than her. 

Each year she hosts an event in remembrance of the 14 children who lost their lives.

She said during the first three years, many people had come out in support of the grieving families, but that support had quickly dwindled.

To mark Tuesday’s anniversary, she made sure each family received a cake, T-shirts, food parcels and a candle, all collected through sponsorships. 

Asked how she managed to do this with so little, she said God had remained faithful to her. 

Wessels said when they had to identify their children’s bodies, she decided to be the strongest. 

“That was tough, to see your child lying there dead and there is nothing that you can do about it.

“Once home, I ran to her room and cried on her bed.

“My son and husband fell on top of me and we all cried. 

“But because of the decision I had taken to be strong, the next day I was busy assisting other families who were finding it difficult to cope with the loss. 

“I put those mothers first and my own needs last,” she said. 

“I have always thought that death brought families closer but three to four families experienced divorces and separations, and I was one of them. 

“Those women needed me,” she said. 

Wessels said the decision by the director of public prosecutions not to prosecute had hit her the hardest. 

“When the court case was done, I got a call from a newspaper asking for my comment.

“The other parents looked up to me as their leader and I felt like I had let them down,” she said. 

A service will be held on Tuesday outside the Rheenendal Civic Centre at 2pm to commemorate the Rheenendal 15.

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