Grieving mom offers help
When she lost her unborn child – the one thing she had been looking forward to for three years since marriage – Black Pride Consulting founder Saxola Bebula wished she had angels who could walk the same path to guide her through spiritual healing.
Four years since losing her baby seven months into her pregnancy, a stronger Bebula has dedicated herself – through her annual Bunny Event – to becoming a shoulder for others during their time of grief.
“When I lost my baby, I was offered medical and other forms of help in abundance, but I wished I had someone to tell me how to heal spiritually, because I was broken,” Bebula said.
The event, named after Bebula’s unborn child, gathers parents who have either experienced the pain of losing a child or are paralysed by the fear of it.
“When I found out I was pregnant, my husband and I agreed I would name the baby if it was a girl and he would name it if it was a boy.
“We would refer to the baby as Bunny until we found out the gender after birth. Everyone around us ended up referring to me as Mama ka Bunny (Bunny’s Mother),” she said.
The main focus of this year’s Bunny Event is to teach parents and future parents ways to try and prevent miscarriages.
“It is as important for men as it is for women to attend this event. The pain of losing a child chooses no gender.
“There are different causes of miscarriage and some can be avoided if both fathers and mothers do their best to prevent miscarriages,” she said.
Bebula lost her unborn baby in 2015, after trying to fall pregnant since 2012.
“It was heartbreaking because I had tried for so long to have a baby and now that I finally had one coming, I lost it.
“The worst part is that I had done and avoided everything doctors had advised me to, but I still lost my baby,” she said.
Doctors told her the baby’s heart was beating slowly and transferred her to hospital, where it was found the child had died. “To this day, I don’t know what exactly killed my baby. The doctor told me it’s something that sometimes happens to first-time mothers.”
The entrepreneur said her own loss motivated her to support parents who had lost children and to remain empathetic towards everyone.
“Sometimes even a woman’s in-laws start to see you as a disgrace when you can’t have a baby. But I was blessed with a lot of support from my and my husband’s family.”
After the ordeal, Bebula used birth control for fear of having and losing a second child. “But my husband and I recently agreed we want to try again, so we are seeing medical practitioners to prepare us.”
Bebula hosted the first Bunny Event in August 2018 in New Brighton.
The 2019 event will be held at the Jesus Christ Empowerment Centre in Markman on Saturday May 25 at 2pm with guest speaker medical practitioner Dr Mthembeni Tebelele and Bishop Bongani Xhalabile sharing the word.
There will be refreshments. Tickets cost R80 from Bebula on 073-109-9956.