Simz Ngema on learning to live without her love, Dumi Masilela

Simphiwe Ngema has had to learn to be independent after the death of her hubby.
Simphiwe Ngema has had to learn to be independent after the death of her hubby.
Image: Gallo Images / Oupa Bopape

Simz Ngema has opened up about picking up the pieces after the death of her husband Dumi Masilela and The diary of a young widow, single woman and divorcee - a project she started to help other women going through the most as well.

Dumi died in August 2017 after being shot in a botched hijacking. More than the shock and devastation she felt, Simz told TshisaLIVE she had to learn how to be independent again. 

"It is hurtful and difficult to be a widow, to have to learn to be independent again. All the things that Dumi used to do for me, I had to now do myself. 

"It hasn't been easy and it really is an ongoing process because some days I feel strong like I have what it takes to take life on and then other days I just feel like the whole world is on my shoulders. The pain... sometimes feels brand new. So it's an emotional rollercoaster," Simz explained.

The actress said her own journey led to her wanting to create a platform for other women to speak about their process of healing. However, she found that the other women were not only helping her but teaching her to look at life in a way she never thought of.

"The first seminar happened in April and it has been amazing to be part of this initiative because it opened my eyes to so many things. I learnt that pain is pain, no matter the source and it is really important to talk about it, that different perspective can change you. Like for example I met this single woman, who after I explained how hard it was to live without Dumi and learn to do things myself, she said 'at least you've had the experience of a great love, I have never had one and all those things he did for you, I never had such an experience.'"

The diary of a young widow, single woman, and divorcee talks has taken on a life of its own and Simz hopes that it will grow bigger and spread wider. She credits God, her family, friends and these women for helping her get to a point where she is able to take life by its horns.

Just last Friday, Simz released her single, Thola Khona.

Earlier this year, Simz ensured that Dumi's album was released and she said the joy she got from doing that also reminded her that she needed to do that for herself.

"When I lost Dumi, my worst nightmare happened. In fact, worse than my worst but that also made me realise that my worst fear had already happened to me. I have nothing more to fear and that is why I am living boldly and making sure I live my best life. I've decided to live my life fully, without fear and Thola Khona is just one of the steps towards that goal," she said.

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