Fine feathers drown in dark sea of red and black

DOING THE WALK: Minister Lindiwe Zulu walks the red carpet  with her grandmother, Esther Mthele ZuluPicture: KOPANO TLAPE -
DOING THE WALK: Minister Lindiwe Zulu walks the red carpet with her grandmother, Esther Mthele ZuluPicture: KOPANO TLAPE –

The people who push bureaucratic pens year-long in dull professional attire were out in all their fine feathers yesterday for the opening of parliament.

While the EFF made calls to rescue the event from becoming a fashion parade, it was these very politicians who wore this season’s most fashionable item: the onesie. They prefer the term “overall” but let’s call a spade a shovel.

The one-piece outfit may be a staple in modern tween, teen, buppie and yuppie wardrobes but mixed with politics the look loses its appeal.

There was a gobsmacking lack of tailoring, tapering and tweaking. Khanyisile Litchfield-Tshabalala’s lopsided couture head-wrap and Hunter-esque boots kept us glued to the screen.

The EFF’s attempt at camouflage on the red carpet was a flop and Max du Preez’s request for “SA media [to] ignore the fashion parade at #SONA2015” came to nought.

The DA wore black to commemorate a country in darkness, offering much-needed contrast with the red sea (where fashion presumably goes to die) – a flick of Helen Zille’s modern haircut would have added a dash of excitement to this dark fashion wilderness.

But it was a picture of ANC MP Thabiswa Nkwana in her feather dress that went viral.

Nkwana set fingers flying in cyber space with an untimely resurfacing of songstress Bjork’s infamous swan gown she wore in 2011 to the Academy Awards (still remembered as the worst dress worn to the awards).

Transport Minister Dipuo Peters opted for a frugal fashion moment by upcycling a frumpy morning robe.

Chester Missing made an honourable statement with his choice of a navy suit, crisp shirt and immaculately knotted tie complemented by a placard a la Karl Lagerfeld’s 2014 show for Chanel.

Following Chester’s tiny shoes were Arts and Culture Minister Nathi Mthethwa and kwaito artist Arthur Mafokate – but if asked for our best-dressed gent, Chester Missing may take this trophy.

Besides the red and black worn en masse by two opposition parties, yellow – the colour of wisdom and joy – was trending.

Dali and Judy Tambo arrived dressed for Hollywood in their matching canary yellow outfits. Speaker of the house Baleka Mbete opted for a pleasant yellow autumn print dress with a dowdy black top underneath, reminding us that with the yin comes the yang.

-Maque DeGorgeous

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