Often painful story behind others’ actions
YOU never truly know someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. My gran taught me that many moons ago, after a spat with my childhood BFF, who wouldn’t come out to play for a whole week.
I later found out why and the truth wasn’t pretty. Mostly, though, it was this American adage that stuck with me through the years – because if you give yourself a little time and space to really understand how someone else feels, you’ll likely discover that there’s almost always a valid reason for their behaviour.
And nine times out of 10, if you just stop being a judgmental idiot, you’ll learn something from the experience.
I’m sure that the universe deliberately peppers our lives with these nuggets of wisdom – and usually at just the right time. If you strip away the philosophy and sentimentality, it’s clear that simple acts of goodness are far more powerful than they might seem, at first.
My colleague and friend, Cape Town journalist Miriam Mannak, had such a powerful “a-ha” moment in her own life this month that she felt moved to share it with us.
This is what she said: “I just said goodbye to Sheila. Sheila, 59, has been living on the streets of my area for years and years. I’ve been supporting her with clothes and food, and we always chatted when we saw each other in the street.
“Through her church, Sheila got herself a house in Athlone. The deposit she needed, R600, was paid by car guarding activities. She saved and saved and saved until she had the money. While sleeping on the street.
“Sheila rang my doorbell just now, to say good bye. She cried. ‘I’m going to miss you and everyone else here. I am not sure if I am able to live in a house, but I am also looking forward to it,’ she cried, hands wrapped over her withered face. ‘It’s the best birthday present; my birthday is one day after Easter.’
“Then she gave me one of the rings she had on her fingers. ‘Here, for you. So that you won’t forget about me’.”
Sheila taught Miriam a lot: “Firstly, that one should never judge a book by its cover. Behind that homeless person or car guard is a story, often a painful one. Secondly, you taught me that every human has hopes and dreams, and we, as humans, are more similar than we are different.
“Lastly, you taught me that showing a little humanity goes a very long way in the lives of people who have less than nothing.”
Most of us have never had to a walk a mile in Sheila’s shoes. If more of us were like her, perhaps nobody would ever have to.
