Body language paves the way

RIGHT chaps, listen up. This is important. In fact, girls, there’s plenty for you, too. I have just received a lesson in understanding body language from a behavioural psychologist and dating coach.

Let’s get the bad news out of the way first. It’s not easy being a man and here’s why. A woman is capable of giving off approximately 50 different signals through body language, whereas the less complex gentleman is only able to muster around 10.

According to my coach, Jo Hemmings, females are better at picking up and understanding signals. Men, Hemmings tells me, struggle to appreciate what different gestures mean.

It’s not our fault! Apparently, males’ interpretations are based more on what they hear than what they see. So what body language signals should men look out for if they want to know whether a girl likes them or not?

Cocking of the head, maybe? Flicking of hair? Smiling?

“People cock their head to listen,” says Hemmings. “Just because someone is listening doesn’t mean they are interested in you, and flicking your hair is a nervous gesture. Smiling is, to a degree, a sign of attraction but it’s also something you can put on. You can fake a smile.”

OK, what then? “A woman may pull up her sleeves.”

Sorry? “Yes, it’s a subconscious way to show you the soft, tender woman she is. It’s an unusual one but it’s very common and fun to watch out for.

“The other thing we like to do is shut the distance between us.

“I would push something towards you slightly. It could be a glass or a menu on a table. I’m leaning in and delivering a message that I want to get closer.”

Other indicators to look out for are stroking the rim of a glass, playing with a necklace, looking at you then looking away before she fixes her gaze back on you.

But the most important body language for both sexes is eye contact.

“If you want to deliver a message without speaking you would hold someone’s eyes,” Hemmings says.

If you are attracted to her you should subconsciously be giving off the appropriate signals.

“A clear sign is what is known as the flirting triangle.

“It’s looking to each eye, down to her mouth and then back up to her eyes to reconnect.

“Another thing men do is to hold their shoulders back. They breathe in and sort of puff themselves up.”

A third, Hemmings says, is “putting your thumbs through the belt loops of your trousers”.

That’s ridiculous. I’ve never done that. Oh well, learn to read body language and you might just hit the jackpot. – The Daily Telegraph

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