GOLDFISH, a bunny and Noah sound like the ingredients of a tail of Biblical proportions and not one you would expect to find in a gossip column. But just you wait!
Firstly, though, our sassy mamgobhozi wants to address the concerns of a “concerned teacher”, Ellen, whose letter you beautiful peeps may have read in The Herald.
Ellen, The Concerned, is apparently very concerned at the “shocking” standard of Skinnerbek’s English. “No normal person speaks like that,” she insists.
Well, thank you for the compliment Ellen because Skinnerbek would head screaming for the hills and never show her eye-lined face in public again if she ever has to be labelled “normal”.
But seriously. Maybe you should eavesdrop on your pupils during break time, Ellen – you could learn a whole new language!
Out of respect, though, Skinnerbek is this week going to see if she can speak the language of “Normal” – although in our radiant rainbow South Africa, is this an impossible task or what?
Just ask Tannie Evita who learnt to lighten up and have a little fun with our showcase of vibrant vernacular before all of us!
Hot on the elegant stiletto heels of our favourite rugby president’s glamorous new wife who you saw cheeky to cheeky with her new hubby on the front page of The Herald on Monday, Skinnerbek can today bring you more nifty nuptial news.
The Bay’s very own Hugh Hefner Bunny Girl, Heidemarie Vos (believe it, peeps, believe it – sorry Ellen, people) is tying the knot with none other than a super high-ranking US Army officer, Major General David H Petraeus, who is, according to Heidemarie, “wrapping up things in Afghanistan”.
“You can look him up on the internet so you will know with whom and what I am getting myself into,” said Heidemarie of Chilli Festival and cookery book fame in an e-mail to family and friends. “He’ll be flying to Port Elizabeth to place that ring on my finger and at that time our wedding date will be set.” Congrats, Heidemarie!
Your favourite columnist is as usual always on top of her social scene game and where better to see and be seen than the Goldfish concert at the divine Shhugar in Walmer where our socks were literally rocked off.
All of PE’s party animals were at this shindig and we are talking beautiful ladies and hot hunks queuing around the corner to get to see the golden boys.
Skinnerbek is sure that Shhugar must have racked in the cash what with the R100 entry charge and nearly 50 bucks for a double rum and coke. Shoo!
Goldfish’s David Poole and Dominic Peters were not only impressive with their music but also with taking huge swigs of tequila from the bottle. You go, boys!
They played all Skinnerbek’s favourites including Get Busy Living and We Come Together. Come back to PE soon, guys!
And it seemed like the entire population of Nelson Mandela Bay also made their way to Trevor Noah’s Goodbye For Now show at the Boardwalk and the main man did not disappoint.
He had the crowd in stitches, especially the red-faced audience members who sat in the front row. He teased them about everything, from their names to their sex lives. Skinnerbek knows those people will think twice before they sit in the front row again!
Trevor did not shy away from discussing the topical “Kuli coloured” and Jimmy Manyi debates either. And he gave a lesson on the correct use of the word “stab” in Afrikaans – lest there be confusion. The groupies were wrestling to get a picture with Trev – and quite a few landed it. You go girls! As Trev would say: Goodbye for now! (How was that, Ellen?)