99% comedy with Skinnerbek

SKINNERBEK was never any good at math – but hey, peeps, your roving, raving and ravishing columnist just loves percentages. Especially when they’re 99% testosterone and have been let loose in the Bay. And when you’ve got a gossip trollop like Skinnerbek who wants to know 99% of what’s going on, it can only mean one thing –  reveling and revelations!
Skinnerbek has already ruffled a few feathers after only one week on the job – fabulous! – and even if someone in Walmer (you know who you are!) doesn’t quite like it, here in the Bay there is a gossip, skinnerbek or umgosi around every corner – even in English-speaking homes would you believe!
PE was abuzz at the weekend and party-goers were spoilt for choice. For most, the good times got rolling on Saturday night at the 99% Xhosa Comedy Show where the comics included isiXhosa speaking Nik Rabino “what what” – well, that’s what a fan who couldn’t pronounce his surname called him.
It’s actually Rabinowitz and “what what” gooi-ed a good couple of jokes about IsiXhosa names of different sporting codes including a long 14-word explanation of what squash is while also giving a lesson to one white woman in the audience. Judging from the screams and loud applause, Rabinowitz, Siyabonga Radebe and Mel Miller were the crowd’s favourites but it was our very own new kid on the block Mbulelo “Manylaughs” Msongelwa who really stole the show. (And the producers are still looking for it! Hee-hee – Skinnerbek, the Comedian)
Skinnerbek’s super-sensory surveillance system – a darting eye that never misses a thing – spotted the chair of the Boardwalk empowerment and procurement sub-committee, Mandla Madwara, who was flanked by some really interesting-looking ladies including one mystery companion who was wearing a super skimpy, body-hugging skirt that was creepy. So creepy in fact she had to hang on to it for dear life in case it crept away!
TruFm DJ Linda Nzuzo was also there with her beautiful mother.
But enough already about the comedy show. Hoarse from four hours of horsing about, it was time to party and all roads led to Parliament Street in Central where the afterparty was held at 52 Parliament.
Eish, it was disappointing though that after the much publicised event, only a few groupies turned up. Come on, peeps, we can do better than that when it comes to a Big Bash in the Bay!
But not to worry – one intoxicated woman was throwing herself all over the comedians, entering the club with her friends, and Radebe, who, heading straight for the bar and to the pool table, pulled a very serious face and looked none too keen to face any questions about him and his engaging entourage. Funnyman Ndumiso “The Rooster” Lindi was the girls’ favourite, no doubt about that. Some even asked to have pictures taken of themselves  with this hot bit of eye candy. But seriously, can you believe it? He didn’t seem at all interested in any of the girls. What da matter, Rooster? You supposed to cockle-a-doodle-doo, aren’t you?
Since there was nothing more juicy happening, it was time to explore elsewhere and Skinnerbek was back on the trail. And it turned out that MaMcor Lounge was where the real party was happening. The club was hosting a foam party with a special discount for those in bikinis. Ladies were streaming into the club and some, including a few gents, did not mind getting all foamed up while downing their drinks. I tell you peeps, it was a rockin’ and a frothin’ all night!
By the way, while Skinnerbek’s weekend was wild, Friday could have been a lot better because your columnist had a serious case of FNB – Friggin’ No Bucks.
For almost half the day Skinnerbek was unable to draw money at the ATM or swipe plastic and so – horror of horrors – your columnist couldn’t shop!
A simple SMS could have worked wonders, FNB (and saved Skinnerbek the appalling embarrassment of standing almost two hours in a queue before learning there was a problem).
See you next week – or hopefully sooner. And please – wear something sexy!

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